27.9.08

"we couldnt change it even we try ."
it's wrong .
we can change, even if it it's just a tiny change .
it counts . and it might affect the outcome .


ola .
it's night time now .
today , i meant last night , i couldnt really sleep well .
and yeah , i was exhausted this morning .
but then , strangely , i managed to crawl out of bed ,
make my way to the balcony ,
excluding some stubles here and there ,
and pressed the on button .
dump the clothes in , add in the detergent .
pull down the cover , adjust some settings .
one more click .
hoorays , the clothes are spinning in the machine .
weirdd huh .
okays , that because i dont wna
suffer the wrath of iris .
yeah , once you went thru it , you will be shuddering in fear .
she is terrifying , that fact doesnt change as she grows .

another thing i noticed today .
i'm good at exaggerating things .
'insert a wide grin here'
so , of course , you need to tell me if you want to hear the exaggerated version ,
or the true , original version .
'smiles' otherwise i'll always give you the exaggerated one .
because i can hone my skills . and of course ,
try to gauge people reactions and make them believable .

and i'm starting to love myself more .
idk why , but i'm telling myself ,
i dont sux , i'm good .
i'm not dumb , i'm a owner of an average brain which might get more
intelligent in the near future .
the point is , i'm improving my self confidence .
but of course, i wont let it go over board .
and yeah , i know what you are thinking of right now .
'are you sure you wont go overboard ? you already sound like
you are clouded in your fantasies of yourself '
i assured you , i know what i'm doing .
hee .
idk why some peeps keep looking down on themselves .
oh , 'i'm ugly' ; 'i'm dumb' ; etc .
yeah , those two are the most common i hear .
and another , 'she's better than me . dont compare me with her .'
why ?
learn to look at your good points .
if i didnt , i would be wallowing in self pity .
look at yourself .
you are not deform in any manner .
you didnt catch any terminal diseases .
think about those who had them .
they are the ones who are really suffering .
so think about that today .
are you really in a bad situation ?
what caused it ?
can you change it ?
what can you do to change it ?
someone asked me when i was young .
or it's either i read it somewhere .
it changed my life . it was etched into my brain .
as i grew older , i begun to understand the meaning of those words .
read between the lines .
i applied them , and here , i changed myself .
i was an anti social kid that just kept to herself .
i only made a friend because i thot , i might need one for project work .
but as she gets more friend , i drifted away from her .
i was friendless .
it was only when i am in p3 that i realised what i dire situation i was in .
i decided , i needed friends .
by p4 , i gotten myself a wee bit more friends .
but i was still shy .
and then , time flies , it was p6 .
i made friends , yes , but i wasnt close to them .
i kept jumping from group to group because we didnt click well .
until i found them , they were somehow my friends that i was able to communicate to .
they increased my self confidence , and i had influence on them ,
we were great buddies .
but that shattered when we graduated .
now , i couldnt really rmb the other friends i had except them .
yeah . and another thing is that i only speak to girls .
yup , i'm still bit uncomfortable with guys .
and of course , i'll speak to them when it is really necessary .
and when , that 'cold' voice as i defined comes in .
but when i speak to girls , my voice goes back to my normal one .
or the one that i considered normal .
strange , i know . but thats me . and i accepted my weirdness .
i even embraced it with love . hehs .
so well , i dont speak to guys .
even if they sit next to me .
but of course , there will be exceptions if they attempted to speak to me .
but who knows , i'm a hard shell to crack .
you wont know what i am thinking , what i am planning .
because i'm gna reveal to you , my brain never stops working .
even when i'm sleeping , they functions well and yeah , my brain doesnt take a break .
but then , who will be the one that can really sees me ?
of course , the first girl will be rena .
(:
but who will be the second ? and the first guy ?
the latter is rather impossible for the next few years .
(:
btu i wont rule out the possiblity .
it's 0.(insert plenty of 0 here)1 % .
hee .

that concludes my post for today !
seems that i'm revealing my character more ..
hmm..

'youve left me deeply intoxicated' will only go when i get over that
crush .
feel free to give me a helping hand .
be it a guy or girl .



youve left me deeply intoxicated ; regii .











What's the feeling bubbling inside you now ?


You're drained, once again at , 10:07 PM

26.9.08

tears started to swell up in my eyes, but they never fell .
i let out a groan and her hands went up and slid between my hair.
clutching them tightly, i breathed in deeply.
"Why do you have to force me?" those words escaped from my mouth , dancing in the air.
she just dont understand . i told her not to buy food for me since i already eaten .
but she had to buy for me.
it was always like this. she always forced me to eat.
whenever i go overseas with her without my parents, she had to make sure
i eat until i get the urge to puke .
does she not get it at all, sweetie? i explained to her so many time. i've lost count already.
i should have left for bb. in that case , i wont need to suffer . my stomach wont burst due to the overdosage of food. i wanted to swear at her , to tell her to fuck off and stop caring about me . i wanted to , but she was my granny. i cant do that to her . it betrays all my morals that i built all over the years.

i know, i understand how you are feeling right now. but you got to understand , she's old. she tend to be forgetful. or she just think that you might be hungry later. like youve said, she's your granny. learn to understand her, regii , and life will be easier . i know at bb , you'll have an easy life because ah e and uncle dont force you to eat . plus the quality of food is definitely betta . hush , alright . just accept it and finish it . you cannot reject it because she will be eating what you rejected . and it will make you look bad . alright , nto only about that , but it will be like , she eat leftover food . it makes her even more , pardon for the word , pathetic . and you know it . so you gotta finish it .

maybe you are right , sweetie . yeah , i'll finish that . i promise . and it really doesnt taste nice . =x oh , and thanks to you , i'll never do anything silly .

your 'silly' is a wide range . but it's good , i'm glad for it , regii .











What's the feeling bubbling inside you now ?


You're drained, once again at , 4:05 PM


time is the true test of your feelings ,
and it is always so tough to pass .

ola .
today is a great day .
hee .
i managed to make it thru the night without waking up .
wows .
okay, i meant i wake up once .
but thats because of a sms !

ah fuck .
my granny keep forcing me to eat fruits .

that sms , after i click it i went back to sleep !
ohmigosh , i finally had a good night sleep after a few days
of waking up at night .
px oso had the same probs as me .
lols .
oh , that sms .
about not wishing happy birthday .
lols .
i replied that in the morning even though i saw it at night
=/
oh , and i really love green tea (:
they taste so good .
delicious .
anyone love them as much as me ?
i cant seem to find anyone that share the same passion
for green tea .

we finished the movie for english lesson today .
i liked the ending .
it's great .
and science lesson sux .
i ha... i mean dislike that teacher .
and the paper , zzz .
worse still , she came to relief us for hist as well .
argh .

hmm , and math lessons .
interesting .
and a wksht to finish .
zz .
idk how to do it .
but i'm sure i'll manage .
and well , the whole incident concerning
someone apologizing to another party .
samantha is just always so amazing .
i'm wondering if she's the root of all their troubles .
hmmm ..
and she just wants to continue to interfere .
hais .

i'm planning to make a trip to bugis before next friday .
yeah , i know it's exam period .
but i gotta make a trip there !
otherwise i wont be taking my exams .
i'm going there to buy pen .
yep , they're super nice to use .
if anyone wants to try it , just tell me and i'll loan you my pen (:
i bought one for atika as well .
she liked it (:
hee .
and i loved it .
it's wonderful .

oh , and my insert from a conversation where i needed
to describe .

you sat next to her on the steps . she leaned on your shouldher and asked, "What should we do about this?" you remained silent, pondering on her question before finally saying, "I dont know." there was silence , but it was the comfortable one . you turned and look at her. she leaned against you and closed her eyes . you smiled and thought, she's just so sweet. then , you planted a kiss on her forehead and smiled to yourself . at this point , your friend rushes in and glared at you. you froze, and started to panic . what will he do to her, you must be thinking . he moved towards you, and you quickly woke her up. "Run," you whispered into her ear before forcing a small smile and gave her a gentle push away from you . she did not want to , but you knew it was for the best . she left , and promised that she will look for help. your friend reached you and looked at you with an evil gleam in his eyes . "oh no, " you muttered.

how good is it ?
maybe if it's okay , i shall insert it
into a story .
with editing , of course .

oh , and any orders for the pen ?
i have the pencil as well .
i'll be going to purchase them next tues .


youve left me deeply intoxicated ; regii .











What's the feeling bubbling inside you now ?


You're drained, once again at , 1:41 PM

25.9.08

when she walks , her head will sway
towards the
left , then right , and left again , right ...
the sequence goes on ,
and yeah , you get my point .


gods .
today is a terrible day for me .
to mark the beginning , i got hit by the bball .
fuck .
it's damn freaking pain .
and yeah , right on my face .
wtf , and it even made my specs bent slightly .
yeah , i know i'm making a big fuss out of my specs ,
but it's like , if i cant see clearly , then my mood will be going
downhill .
my right cheek still hurt slightly .
=x

and then , the main event that made the whole day worse .
my parents went overseas and left only granny and i
at home .
till sunday .
damn .
i'm scared .
=/
and lonely .
without iris , i'll be bored to tears .
but tmr night , i'll be following my neighbours to jb .
hee .
that made things slightly betta .
on the bright side , i could do anything i want until sunday .
cheers for me ?
arghs .
nvm , i should accept that fact gracefully and
embrace it tightly .
after all , it had been a long time since iris went on trips .
my parents went on a few trips this year already .
so .. yeah . .
haahaa .
okays , i'm getting over it .
and i promise myself .
i'll sleep well tonight .
there's nothing to be afraid of , regii .
you can always seek solitude by using the com ,
or watching those movies you layed out .
hee .

currently listening to a album that i dl .
tm revolution .
lols .
rather ok , but i guess i prefer uverworld and the gazette .
lols .

lets talk about math .
hahaa .
today , lets just say miss lim is quite ok .
hmm , this song sounds good . track 3 .
she asked peeps to go up the whiteboard to write out the answer .
i feared that tomorrow it will be my turn .
and idk how to do qn 6 .
=x
hopes she ask me for 5 or 7 .
at least i got the answer .
and hmm .. i should complete 5b from shurong .
otherwise l8r cher ask me go up write den gg liao .
=/

well , thats all for today .
and one note ; stoke up on eclipse .
i simply love that candy .
=/
more than choco .
hees .

youve left me deeply intoxicated ; regii .











What's the feeling bubbling inside you now ?


You're drained, once again at , 6:51 PM

24.9.08

ohmigosh .
finally , after hours of hard work
and soul poured into the chapter .
i finally got it out .
wonderful right ?
yep , i know . i can hear your applause for me .
thanks loads, peeps !
here comes o7 ; upholding the tradition

zoom !

.
.
.
.

Alex smirked, “Little puppy, you’ve finally come and receive your orders. Well, well, look at yourself. You looked drenched. But perhaps, you need a change of clothes.”

The others around the table – Vin, Gages, Violet and Chloe – stifled a gasp. Chloe whispered to me, “Nathan, he’s going to ask her to…” I gave her a nod and said that I will do something about.

“You should start by taking off that…”

“Alexander?” I phrased it as a question, but there was authority behind it.

.
.
.
.

released next monday .

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What's the feeling bubbling inside you now ?


You're drained, once again at , 8:35 PM


you dont know how much you
hurt (me) ,
change (me) ,
and
cheer (me) everyone .


ciao .
lols .
i went to play with the translation thingy .
ciao meant hello in italian .
and i thot it was kidna related to good bye
or see you
but ti turns out to be completely different ?
i checked two translator thank you .
so there shouldnt be a mistake here right ?
hee .

oh , i'm currently typing out chapter 7 .
hais .
tiring job since i made it more lengthy .
lets say , maybe i can hit 2k ?
at least 1.5k words .
cuz now, i've stopped at 1478 words .
hee.

i couldnt finish my math hmwk .
why ?
because idk how to do .
starting from qn 5 ,
=/
need to copy tmr ler .

the hist lesson today is rather nice .
haha .
but my group didnt win cuz i put something wrongly .
=/
nvm barhs . after all , it's already over .
haaha .
and now , i'm wondering what the prize might be ?
lols .
and during hmt ,
it's like 'wow '
miss sim actually let us do out own stuffs provided that
we dont have any 'guang bo dian tai' otherwise
she will stop all our activities immeidately ?
and no walking .
lol .
so nice of her (:
i get to do my math in skool .
hehs .

and the movie that miss nora played during english .
it's damn weird ?
and well , that guy , dewey finn or smth liddat ?
i cant really rmb what i wrote for my plot thingy .
the actions that he did was so exaggerated .
==''
and humairah was commenting that .
hahaa .
and it seemed that humairah and i .
are getting on betta terms ?
(:
it's good then .
hee .

rena was pleasant today .
bit weird , but it's betta than being moody !
smile , rena .

youve left me deeply intoxicated ; regii .











What's the feeling bubbling inside you now ?


You're drained, once again at , 6:33 PM

23.9.08

not much people share the same views
as
yours truly over here .

ola .
aunt just brought a omelette thingy over .
ate it , and well , it's yummy .
and today , aunt landy and and aunt nicole went back to tw .
woots .
i got my room back to myself again .

and seek does sounds quite nice .
i like it .
they rocks .
hee .
high and mighty colours !

i'll use cheerfulness to hide everything .
isnt it betta ?
if there's no one worrying about you
when you have troubles .
i dont want to worry anyone when i'm upset or down .
so i'll just keep them away .
and lock them inside me .
they can only be released when i am alone .
yep .
no one should be able to see a uncheerful me from today onwards .
(:
smile .
even if it's not for myself , i'll smile for those around me .
because i care .

today , rena was kinda sad ?
dang .
she's like , so off today .
when i speak to her .
she snapped at me when i asked whats her asnwer ?
o.o
she dont usually do that .
plus , i only asked that for the second time ?
==''
and me , i'm like a lunatic .
i'm smiling to myself when i was walking home tgt with her
while she was sulking ?
she wont be seeing this post anw .
not that i'm badmouthing her .
am i ?
nah , i'm just commenting on her mood .
hee .

and shurong, stay cheerful ! .
(:

youve left me deeply intoxicated ; regii .











What's the feeling bubbling inside you now ?


You're drained, once again at , 4:46 PM

22.9.08

another update for Silvestro .
chapter 5 is up .
just some extract from it so that i can lure you to read it .
it's at my links there .
the only link that's moving ?
i guess you should be able to catch it .
it's called .
regi.rena.fp
hee .
here it comes .
whoosh !

X
X
X

When she finally spotted the guys, she grinned, “Nate, my love,” before rushing over and gave him another of her hugs. Nathan hugged her back with the same passion and smiled into her hair. It still had the same strawberry smell. “And who might this hot gentleman here be?” Reiya asked as she eyed Gavin as if he was a piece of eye candy. Gavin blushed under her scrutiny, which something Nathan found strange considering the fact that he did not blush that easily.

“Ri, he is a human not a prey. He is Gavin, Vin, Roberts, the one that I always talk to you about. He’s a good boyfriend material, you know,” Nathan grinned at Reiya before introducing Reiya to Gavin. Humour was evident on his face as Gavin smiled shyly.

“I know that, love,” she collected her schedule and linked her arms with Nathan, “It’s the ranking ceremony time.”

X
X
X

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What's the feeling bubbling inside you now ?


You're drained, once again at , 3:39 PM


i'm a human .
just that i choose to focus on one emotion over the others .

ola .
today , i'm kinda moody ?
well , thats in the earlier part the day .
hmm .
not that early .
around 12 + ?
then , i killed sadness and happiness returned .
hee .
so . i'm happy now .
yeah , it's rare for me to be upset the whole day .
or at least , more than 4 hours .
(:
being naturally cheerful is great .
but at least i'm a human , not a happy machine .
because there are moments that i'll feel down .
it's a good thing actually .

hmm . lets blog about ytd .
yeah , ytd sucks .
why ?
because my relatives are over here .
yep , i dont fancy my relatives .
i'll cut all my ties with them when i have the chance to ,
the chance will come when i'm old enough .
and when my parents are in heaven .
i'm not cursing them .
i love my and dad very much .
i value them , soemtimes even above my own life .
yep , they brought me up well .
oh , where did i stop ?
ah , severing the ties .
yeah , they are completely .. not like me ?
i mean , i didnt even speak to my cousins ?
wtf .
there's nothing to talk about .
even when they are like , only less than 20 ?
and maybe one or two hit 20 already .
==''
and i cant believe that i can talk to sindd and bear normally ?
even though they are 23 ?
and thomas , patrick and hubert when
two is 30 and above , and one is nearing thirty ?
==''
damn .
it just proves one point .
i'm not close with them .
i love my gan parents and family at bb more than my
blood related relatives .
oh , and there are a few of my relatives which i wont sever ties with .
cuz they're nice .
mainly , my gu ma , third uncle and youngest aunt .
yes , i'm basically pin pointing to a aunt .
ehhs .
i betta go remove my blog link at msn pm .
otherwise they check .
den i die liao .
wait till a few more days , then i put it back there .
hmm .. so the topic for today is ..
sour relations with relatives ?
hee .

oh , and patrick's wedding with ally is on 17'10'08 .
woots .
i cant wait .
(:
i might even get some nice pics on that day ?
lols .

and belated birthday to samantha and atika .
lets just say i completely forgotten about it until today ?
well, last weekend was hectic .

youve left me deeply intoxicated ; regii .











What's the feeling bubbling inside you now ?


You're drained, once again at , 3:25 PM

21.9.08

ola .
it's sunday today .
anything interesting planned ?
well , today at my house , there's buffet !
yup , it's still on . and it taste great ,
i'm not lying , it really taste good .
well , you can still come now .
since there's still food left .
the portion ordered were too large .
we cant finish it .

oh , and i think my badminton skills improved .
this morning ,
i went to practice with rena .
it's quite fun .
well , definitely . since i spent less time
picking up the shuttlecock .
><

now , they're going to collect the cake .
hmm .. i wonder if it wil be nice .
and yeah , she smsed me .
i hope she's alrights .

youve left me deeply intoxicated ; regii .











What's the feeling bubbling inside you now ?


You're drained, once again at , 6:15 PM