15.10.08
there are no words . no more..none ..disappointment is the lightest of the words to describe me now .
kinda weird huh .
i want to find a reason to cry , to shift the blame , just anything .
no one could imagine how much my grades affected me .
though on the surface , i had to keep up my facade .
i cannot cry , i cannot appear down .
i have to be normal . it's a little promise i make to myself .
i cannot appear weak .
i can only shed my heavy armours when i'm alone .
when i'm alone..
when no one is watching..
it was like an heavy rock , a boulder on my shouders now .
but i have to carry it .
i brought it upon myself .
yes , i understood that , but i refused to accept it .
reality is harsh indeed , but thats what i really needed to wake up from dreamland .
i must stop , i want to , i need to , and i will .
the results were below expectations .
very below .
nothing is able to max what i wanted .
i have to study , and next year , i will .
i promise myself , i wont let myself down .
whatever that i'm doing now will affect ym life in the future .
i have great dreams, great ambition , and i know .
if i study , if i work hard , if i listen sincerely during lesson , i will be able to achieve them .
though i always take things lightly , you have no idea how seriously i take them .
it might be a litte late now , but i know .
i can patch things up .
next year , yes , next year .
my grades , there will never be a c .
no copying , no slacking during class .
just listen , and pay full attention .
i know i'll have difficulty doing this , but .
adapting , isnt that what i'm good at ? .
hope may be dim , but i will light it up .
youve left me deeply intoxicated ; regii .
